


Things Left Unsaid

by purajobot935



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Related, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Insomnia, MTMTE, Memories, Might be Slightly Divergent, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Spoilers, Talking About the Past, The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye (IDW), The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye Issue 38 (IDW), Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 22:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3586311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purajobot935/pseuds/purajobot935
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red optics pinned the Minibot with a stare that was just that little bit intimidating. “They really told me you were the nice one. I should have probably asked them to define ‘nice’.”</p>
<p>- Megatron and Rewind talk about what happened in issue 38.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Left Unsaid

**Things Left Unsaid**

Two nights after they saved the universe, they pushed their recharge slabs together so Rewind could cuddle against Chromedome’s larger frame. Yet even listening to the sound of his sparkmate’s engine purring softly as he slept, Rewind couldn’t recharge. He kept his optics switched off so the light wouldn’t disturb Chromedome, and pressed his face against his lover’s side, but his fingers still clenched into fists as he remembered the weight of the gun and the pressure on the trigger.

It eased his spark a little that Chromedome didn’t hate him for what he did, that he’d actually forgiven him, that even the others had pretty much turned a blind eye to it – after all, it was all for saving the universe, right? – but Rewind still wasn’t sure he had forgiven himself. Yes, it had been Megatron, but it had also been a new life, and he didn’t even know why he did it.

No, that was a lie. 

He did it to save the universe from the Cybertronians; from their own terribly destructive race.

No. That was the reason he’d given the others.

That was a lie, too. Sort of.

His visor flickered with blue light as his optics powered up and he looked up at Chromedome’s sleeping form. Flat on his back… head dropped back, that first needle punching through his optic and piercing his brain. Rewind’s hands flew to his visor as he curled up further, trying to block out the phantom screams. No no no… Chromedome was safe. THIS Chromedome was safe; he was alive and he was HERE.

He suppressed a shudder and slowly sat up, carefully moving Chromedome’s arm aside so he had room to slide off the berth. It wouldn’t do for his rattling frame to wake his sparkmate up, and he needed a walk to clear his head.

With no real destination in mind, he let his legs carry him aimlessly around the hallways of the ship, nodding hello to the few bots who were still up and about, but not slowing his stride enough to start a conversation. He wasn’t in the mood for small talk at the moment. When his feet finally decided they were tired enough to warrant stopping, he looked around and noted that he was right outside the bridge.

His natural curiosity getting the better of him, he peeked his head around the door to see if there was anything going on, and was a little bit disappointed to see the bridge conspicuously empty. Trying not to feel too alarmed, he took a few steps inside just to make sure the ship wasn’t flying blind without anyone at the helm.

“I sent Ultra Magnus to get some recharge. He didn’t want to show it, but he was exhausted.”

Rewind jumped with a startled squeak at the voice that came from what he thought was an empty seat, but now as he got closer saw that it was occupied by the slouched form of the co-captain.

“Well, if it isn’t my little murderer.” Red optics pinned the Minibot with a stare that was just that little bit intimidating. “They really told me you were the nice one. I should have probably asked them to define ‘nice’.”

That stung a bit and Rewind took a moment to get his vocalizer working. “W-where’s Rodimus?”

Megatron shrugged. “Don’t know. To be honest, I don’t really care, as long as I don’t have to suffer his presence.” He gestured to the empty seat close by. “Sit.”

“I should go.” Rewind glanced back at the doors.

“I deserve to know.”

They both knew what the ex-warlord was asking. Rewind’s visor dimmed and a shudder rattled his plating as his fingers curled into fists again at his sides, the memory playing through his head again.

“I don’t owe you anything.” His voice sounded as small as his stature.

“That was your first kill, wasn’t it?” The red light lost some of its intensity as Megatron’s gaze softened just that little bit. He sighed. “I’m not going to hurt you. I helped you, remember-.”

“We’re not friends, Megatron. If I wanted to talk about my motives and needed someone to listen, I’d talk to Rung. He’s the actual therapist around here.”

“Then why haven’t you?”

“Because…” Rewind huffed and let his agitation help him climb into the other chair. “Just because.”

“Because you don’t want his pity.”

Rewind grunted. “Because he wasn’t there.”

“I’m pretty sure he was with the rest of you when your finger got twitchy on that trigger.”

This was Magnus’ chair he was sitting in. Given the size of it, it couldn’t belong to anyone else, but Rewind knew for sure, because he watched the big mech being pulled from it before a fusion cannon blew a hole in the armor and the smaller mech within was dragged out and executed. Rewind gathered his knees to his chest and pressed his face to them to try and banish the memory. He wanted nothing more than to go back to his hab-suite and cling to Chromedome.

Megatron watched the smaller bot’s actions and frowned in concern, sitting up a bit straighter. “Rewind?”

“You created them.” His voice was soft, but the heartbreak echoed loudly.

“The Decepticons?”

“The D.J.D.”

Optic ridges raised slightly as Megatron slowly put the pieces of the puzzle that was this Minibot together. “You didn’t kill me to save the universe from the Cybertronian War.”

Rewind shook his head. “I wish I was that selfless.” He raised his head and looked at the silver mech. “That Functionist Universe, they killed all the memory sticks y’know. I think I died there.”

“So it was revenge?”

“If you didn’t exist, then neither would the D.J.D.” Rewind didn’t release his grip on his legs. “There’s death, and then there’s what they do. And you made them like that. At least with the Functionists, they just blow a chip in your head. It’s a quick death.” He felt fluid sting his optics. “Have you ever watched them? The D.J.D.?”

“I have. A few times.”

“Did you ever get used to it?”

“… Yes. I think there were even times I enjoyed it. At the height of my… campaign… between them and Overlord, they managed to decimate a good many Autobots. Strong Autobots.”

“You sound almost proud of it.”

“I created good weapons.” 

“You created monsters. They don’t just kill people, they… they…” twin trails of optical fluid leaked from under the blue visor and ran down the red mask. “I was alone on that ship. Alone with what your creations left behind, hiding inside a dead bot’s armor for months – MONTHS, Megatron - and too afraid to come out, not because I thought the D.J.D would kill me – I wish they had killed me first – but because if I did, I’d have to see them; I’d have to see him.” 

“I know what they do, but you had to have seen countless atrocities during the war; I know you even documented them. Thousands of sparkmates died over those four million years. What makes this one different?”

“This one was mine. IS mine. And none of them would have had to die if you hadn’t escalated the war into what it became. Do you know I still see what they did to him? I still dream of it. I can’t sleep right.”

“He’s a mnemosurgeon. They were the foulest thing that ever came out of the Senate and the Autobots. They changed people against their will, invaded their minds. Why would you love someone like that?” Megatron tried not to recoil too much.

But something in Rewind’s gaze softened. “Because he still struggles to love himself, struggles to understand that he is worth more than just his abilities.” His gaze hardened again. “I had to watch him die. I’ve seen friends die before. Good friends. But watching your sparkmate being killed slowly in front of you and feeling powerless… Have you ever felt that?”

Megatron looked down at the badge on his chest, the ‘star’ he had been looking at the day before weighing heavy on his mind. “I never had a sparkmate, but there was someone I cared about that I couldn’t save either. I don’t know what happened to him; maybe he died – he was old and damaged – or maybe he lived. The point is I couldn’t save him. I ran.”

A beat of silence passed while they sat in thought and memory, and Rewind wondered at how bizarre it was to have something a little in common with the ex-warlord.

“You never answered my question,” Megatron said after another moment had gone by. “Was it your first kill?”

Rewind nodded. “I was considered a non-combatant. Seems my database was too valuable. Heh, ironic isn’t it? From being worth nothing to being worth too much to risk losing. They trained me to use guns in case I needed to defend myself, and because I went into the field anyway. Domey was beside himself.”

“I can imagine he would have been. You tend to be a bit on the fragile side.”

“He threatened to have me locked away in a secure facility, but I wasn’t gonna let him go fighting alone. Eventually we joined Orion – Optimus Prime. Domey knew him from his cop days. I was his biographer and he had me document the war as it played out. Ran into our fair share of skirmishes while moving around with Prime, and I had to shoot bots to get away sometimes, but I’d never killed anyone.”

Megatron shifted in his seat again, looking out through the front panels at the stars that surrounded the ship as it drifted lazily through space. Some time to breathe till the next storm came around, to reflect and… to try and put the pieces back together.

“It’s always the nice ones,” he said, mostly to himself, though Rewind shot him a confused glance. “You don’t see them coming. You don’t realize how far you’ve pushed them until they finally break and… surprise you.” He looked across at the Minibot. “I apologize for calling you a murderer.”

Rewind inclined his head. “I am though, aren’t I? I don’t even know why I’m still out here. I should have gone to the brig along with Brainstorm.”

“Perhaps, but I feel what might help you more is a session with Rung. You have been through something traumatic, perhaps he can give you something to stop the nightmares and let you sleep.”

“Maybe.” Rewind rubbed his visor. “I can’t remember the last time I had a complete recharge cycle. Before the D.J.D came, I think.”

Megatron turned his head sharply. “Are you honestly telling me you have not shut down properly in months?”

Rewind shrugged. Megatron side and opened a compartment in his forearm, taking out a small vial and holding it out to the Minibot. Rewind stared at it suspiciously.

“What’s that?”

“Something to help you sleep. I promise it will not harm you. Take it only once you’re secure in your hab-suite and won’t be disturbed. It will make sure you get a complete recharge cycle, and in the morning I want you to book a meeting with Rung. Take Chromedome if you need to.” Megatron stood and came to kneel in front of the smaller bot, pressing the vial into his hand. “Allow me to start making amends for what was done to you.”

The archivist ran a thumb over the vial. “I still killed you.”

“I more than anyone else understand the need for vengeance. My creations killed your sparkmate, you killed me so they would never come to be. Perhaps we’re even in that regard.” Megatron stood again and returned to his seat. “Besides, you’re part of my crew, and as a captain, it is my duty to ensure the crew gets the best possible care.”

The Minibot slowly climbed down from his own perch and looked towards the door where a familiar yellow visor was peering through in concern. He looked back to the ex-warlord sitting alone in his chair, partially slouching again, and for a moment he hesitated.

“I’m sorry I killed you.”

Megatron straightened just that little bit. “Go, don’t keep him waiting.”

“Thank you, for the sleeping aid.”

Rewind turned and headed back outside where Chromedome was waiting for him, and it took only a look at how the smaller mech was swaying on his feet for the mnemosurgeon to gather him up in his arms and take him back to their quarters. Rewind didn’t complain, the promise of a proper cycle of recharge easily overpowering any sense of dignity. Chromedome only nodded when Rewind explained what the contents of the vial would do.

“Sleep, I’ll be here to make sure nothing disturbs you.”

“I know, thank you, Domey.” Rewind swallowed the liquid and settled back on the recharge berth. “Will you lie with me till I fall asleep?”

Chromedome didn’t bother answering, reclining back beside his sparkmate and wrapping an arm around him. “You’ll get better, I promise. I’ll be here to help you.”

“When I wake up, will you come see Rung with me? I need to talk to him.”

“Whatever you need, Rewind. Now sleep.” He nuzzled his mask against the top of Rewind’s head. “You’re safe in here.”

Rewind nodded and pressed his face against the larger mech’s side, letting the familiar warmth help the drug finally pull him under.

~ END.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a bit all over the place to be honest. I blame late nights up typing this out when I really should have been asleep. But I'm a slave to my muses, so...
> 
> It's mostly based on a theory of mine that the real reason why Rewind shot Megatron was less to save the universe and more personal, based on the terrible trauma he went through at the hands of the DJD.
> 
> As you probably guessed also, this is not beta-ed.


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